You

It is you who cannot eat too much spicy food.

It is you who drive a car so calm and leisurely. I always feel safe and comfortable when I’m in your car.

It is you who could not say letter “R” in perfect articulation, maybe due to your tongue is too short..

It is you whose twin sister looks the same with you, especially with the big cheek.

It is you who have favorite colour “White”.

It is you who like dancing better than singing.

It is you who prefer perfume better than cologne, u likes bvlgari or CK.

It is you who like reading better than writing.

It is you who like listening better than talking, that’s why I like to talk to you about my problems and thought.

It is you who like Adidas better than Nike.

It is you who wish to live in “Apartment” better than in a “House”.

It is you who makes my heart beating faster than usual.

It is you who make me don’t know what to say or what to do, because of I’m too nervous to see you around me.

It is you who knows how to make me smile with your jokes or other stories.

It was you who gave me a manager’s-strawberry-cheese-birthday-cake when I’m really starved that night.

It is you who know me better than others do.

It is you who understand me better than others do.

It is you who push me to follow my heart and ignore other’s opinion.

It is you who make me realize that I can reach my dream, only if I follow my heart.

It is you who always be the first person I talked about future plan, even though we only communicate each other through e-mail or MSN.

It is ME who adore you a LOT, but don't know how to say it to you

"I Hate You"

(Please also ready my previous post)

When my heart speaks to my brain:

Even it's spicy, you say it's not

Even it's hot, you say it's cold

Even it's black, you say it's white

You think you won’t able to do it, you say “Yes, I can”

You think it is wrong, you say “It could be right”

You feel tired, you say “That’s allright”

If you love someone, you say you don't

If you're hurt, you say you're OK

If you're sick, you say you're not

That's what you do

SO, if I say “I Hate You”, you must know what I mean…

Dear Santa....

Dear Santa,

I've been good this year...

I always do my job and tasks with best effort..

I've never been cheated or backstabed someone..

Weekdays feels like hell...but im trying to face it like heaven..

I also listen to my mom and dad religious advice

Each day, i just meet them 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at nite before i sleep..

But i shows my attention and care by bought them a nice-elegant-dinner-table with sea creatures theme..

Im gladly accompanying my friends in bad times or good times..

I always give my time to them and be a good listener for they problems..

Sometimes I also a be a good adviser for them..

I just want them feels relax and happy after a long-wide-continued conversation with me

I also love my bunny so much...

Tari...Taro...Milky and Milly...(even Milky has runaway from our house..sigh..T_T)

They so stinky sometimes, bcoz they seldom got a bath-spa-grooming at pet saloon..

but i take care of them from rain and cold weather..

And for this christmas, i just want to taste a little bit happiness...

Please replace and take away this fragile heart with another stronger one..

I think Santa would have a couple stock of "heart" on your warehouse at North Pole

Just send me one of your best-quality-strong-and-unbreakable-heart to replace mine..

Thanks a lot Santa, i hope you dont read this letter in hurry, but read it calmly.

Once again...Santa, i've been good this year...so please approved my simple-request, no need to wrapped the gift with decoration or accessories, bcoz it should be a simple-gift, really...send it direct to my heart

Warm Regards,

-Siska_

PS: Merry Christmas, Santa..

It would be a busy season for you, so keep your spirit up !! Cheers..

Doa dalam Kesesakan

Yesus, Tuhanku..

Di dalam kemelut hati ini, aku tidak ingin menuntut hidup mulus tanpa gelombang.

Memanggul salib itulah tugasku sebagai pengikut-Mu, bukannya lari menghindar.

Namun Tuhan, di saat aku tidak mengerti jalan-Mu, tunjukkanlah jalanku ke arah rencana-Mu.

Waktu kebingungan dan kekhawatiran melanda diriku, jangan lepaskan tanganku.

Mampukanlah aku berdiri tegap melawan gelombang perasaan yang tidak menentu.

Bantulah aku untuk bersabar, penuh kasih dan kerendahan hati.

Jangan biarkan aku hanyut melawan-Mu, menyerah dalam arus percobaan.

Biarlah dekapan kasih-Mu menguatkan aku untuk berjuang.

Menyadarkan aku bahwa aku tidak sendirian, tetapi Engkau tak pernah lena dan tetap menangku, mendekapku dalam segala suasana, lebih-lebih dalam suasana yang gelap gulita dan menyesakkan ini.

Tuhan, biarlah aku semakin murni dalam genggaman tangan-Mu.

Bapa di Surga,

Kami bersyukur karena walaupun doa kami jauh dari sempurna, tetapi Roh Kudus menyempurnakannya sehingga berkenan di hadapan-Mu.

Dan kami tahu, bahwa yang Engkau cari bukanlah kata-kata panjang dan indah, tetapi kata-kata yang penuh dengan iman.

Oleh sebab itu, kami mempersembahkan iman kami kepada-Mu, ya Allah.

Kami percaya bahwa doa yang kami naikkan itu Engkau dengar dan Engkau jawab indah pada waktunya. Dan kami mempercayakan doa kami pada kehendakMu. Karena kami tahu jalanMU lebih baik daripada jalan kami.

Kami bersyukur, Engkau berkenan menerima doa kami. Berikanlah kami senantiasa kasih yang menyelamatkan, pengharapan yang tidak mengecewakan, dan iman yang memindahkan gunung. Sampai bertemu lagi Tuhan, dalam doa-doa kami berikutnya.

Dalam nama Yesus, kami berdoa dan mengucap syukur, Amin…

Another Hope..

I always believe...

there will be a rainbow after the rain,

and sunshine after the gloomy storm

Letter to YOU

mTuhan, berikan aku jalan dan petunjuk-Mu, Tuhan..

Kurasa aku hanya manusia lemah, ku takkan sanggup melewati ini

Ku tahu batasku, dan kurasa ini sudah hampir mencapai batas kemampuanku..

Bagaimana caranya TUhan, agar orang lain mengerti,

Bahwa ini bukan jalanku, atau ini memang bukan pilihanku

Bagaimana caranya agar mereka mengerti keadaanku yang sesungguhnya, bukan hanya melihat dari tampak luar saja

Aku mencoba untuk bertahan dan kuat, tapi sampai kapankah ?

Bila saja tiap batas kemampuan orang dapat dilihat dengan mudah, mungkin segalanya akan menjadi lebih mudah dipahami.

Aku ingin berkata “CUKUP”

AKu ingin berkata “Tidak MAU”

Aku ingin berkata “Berhenti”

Namun mereka tidak sependapat.

Mereka berkata “Kamu pasti bisa..”

Mereka berkata “ Bersabarlah, semua akan indah pada waktunya..”

Mereka berkata “Pikirkanlah lagi matang2..”

Kuingin mereka mendukung pilihan apapun yang kupilih..

Kuingin mereka berkata “Lakukanlah yang terbaik menurutmu..”

Kuingin mereka berkata “Kerjakanlah apa yang ingin kau kerjakan..”

Kapan kah semuanya akan menjadi indah?

Kubutuh bimbingan-Mu, Tuhan

Bila ini memang jalan bagiku, tunjukanlah dan terangkanlah..

Bila ada jalan lain yang harus kutempuh, alihkanlah aku pada jalan-Mu itu…

Tuhan, Apakah doaku selama ini sudah sampai pada-MU?

Bisakah kau bisikkan kepadaku, apa yang seturut kehendak-Mu?

Tiap kali aku berdoa, belum terdengar bisikan itu..

Aku tidak tahu lagi harus menggantungkan diri kepada siapa, selain pada diri-MU..

Maka itu, kumohon…

Dengarlah dan jawablah doaku itu, TUhan..

AMin..

With lots of love and faith,

Siska

Definition

Falling in love is like being homeless, you go from one place to another, looking for a good shelter.

Falling in love is like a ghost, you can’t see it but you can feel it’s haunting you.

Falling in love is like watching a sad movie, you know tears are gonna roll down from your eyes but you keep watching.

Falling in love is like having diabetes. Suddenly everything is just too sweet for you…^_______^

Falling in love is like a Dejavu, you can feel it but you cant remember when and where it happened.

Falling in love is like drinking alcohol, laugh and smile whole night. But when its over, the only left is major headache.

Falling in love is like water. You need it everyday, but at times it drowns your life away.

Falling in love is like a solving a mathematic problem, it’s easy when you know how, easier if you already find the formula..

Falling in love is like Picasso's painting, it literally looks awful but still have value.

Newton's opinion (maybe..): Falling in love is like gravity. There's nothing you can do, when it takes you down, you'll fall...

In my opinion, falling in love is like diving in a deep blue sea. Feels like something hit your head and your heart beating faster than usual.

You need oxygen (read: love) to keep alive. You will find some fish that looks so attractive, and trying to catch it. You think it's gonna be perfect if you can end up together with him/her.

Maybe you (don't) know that one day, it will be hurting you and him/her...but u keep on trying to reach him/her.

And when finally you realized that you cannot be with him/her, you still have a chance to find another fish.

Remember, we are in deep-wide-blue-sea...

Happy and Unhappy

Pernah ga sih ngerasain dimana lu lagi bahagia2nya, trus tiba2 lu merasa..

"OH no, skrg gw lg bahagia...pasti bentar lagi bakal ada sesuatu yg buruk bakal terjadi dan merengut kebahagiaan itu dari gue.."

Gw seriing bgt ngerasain hal itu..

pas kecil, gw inget bgt lagi ketawa-ketiwi sama koko gw,

ngeributin mainan yg simple, tapi bikin seneeeng bgt...

trus tau2 gw diomelin ama bokap nyokap, tanpa sebab..

Pernah juga suatu siang hari gw lg gembira2nya, bener2 ketawa ngakak..

Pas gembira itu, gw tiba2 ada feeling,

"DUh, sekarang gw lg ketawa, jgn2 tar ada sesuatu yg bs bikin gw sedih..."

dan sorenya ada kejadian buruk, kelinci gw mati...

Sama juga kyk hari ini....

Hari ini gw training, seneng bgt bisa training bareng ama tmn2 kantor,

dan sewaktu break sempet ketawa ketiwi ngakak, sampe keluar air mata saking lucunya..

dan sekali lagi, perasaan itu muncul lagi...

"Gw saat ini ketawa bahagia, jangan2 bentar lagi bakal ada sesuatu yg bikin gw ga bahagia..."

dan benar, sorenya feeling itu hadir lagi...kebahagiaan itu pergi dari gw..

Gw ga paham, bener2 ga paham...

Kenapa utk bisa merasakan "bahagia", kita musti menukarnya dgn "ketidakbahagiaan"?

Kenapa musti ada sesuatu yg kita korbankan untuk bisa mendapatkan sesuatu hal yang lain?

Kalau saat ini kita bahagia, lalu selanjutnya akan muncul kesedihan, lalu buat apa kita bahagia?

Kadang gw berpikir, lebih baik jangan terlalu bahagia saat ini, biar nanti ke depannya ga akan ada sesuatu hal yg bikin lu gak bahagia...

Gw takut...takut untuk merasakan bahagia, yang akan berlanjut dgn ketidakbahagiaaan..

Buat apa kita tersenyum sekarang bila nanti akan menangis?

Lebih baik tidak usah merasakan bahagia daripada menghadapi ketidakbahagiaan yang lebih hebat di waktu yang akan datang…

AM I WRONG? Please Tell me..

HATES THIS FEELING…